Recall what it was like as a child imagining if you could be any animal and thinking of that animal you would be? For some reason, I always choose to be the great white tiger. Not because they run fast or anything but just like the lion, King of The Jungle, both beasts/creatures show pride. Both stand strong, proud and loyal. Coming back to present-day reality; I could be anyone or anything. Who would I be and, more important, I would not even consider why. After three major relationships, one that failed on my account while the other two, clearly in hindsight, did not work as a result of persons who will do what they want, with no regard for another. We all grow and I can respect that, I think we start to look at love and for love differently. Eight months ago I hit this guy up I had been seeing on Facebook and we had hella mutual friends, but it was like we were never in the same place at the same time. Oh, how I hate that.
I never thought I was the best-looking person in the group. So I kinda waited for a message first, I wanted him to be the one to hit me up cause shit, No one really wants to be rejected. Trust me I know what you’re saying,
“But damn Dallas you’re fine.”
Trust me boo, you would be surprised as to how people really felt about themselves. If people could just open their mouth and say what they wanted to, life would be that much happier.
During this time I was a Head Chef for a local restaurant chain and I was trying to, I guess, make everything look good. First impressions are key. I wanted that first interaction to make it known I was the best and had everything.
Hold on I wasn’t being bougie (well kinda a little but I’m not admitting it).
I invited him out and let him know he could “get whatever u want kinda thing” cause low key nobody was paying for it. Anyway, we hit it off great. The sad thing is neither one of us had a place of our own. If its one thing I hate, it is to want to chill with someone and not place a place to go. For some reason, I guess that’s a broke gay thing (if only yall could see my face). Again, I made it look right and we chilled at my sister house.
What is it with a guy always willing to chill with you (so say) but when you get together with them, pull up to the Netflix and Chill location, they wanna ask 3 milbillion questions (yes I said milbillion).
HIM: Who house?
ME: Nigga, I told you my sister’s mane.
HIM: She Here?
ME: Why would she be here if I told you I was trying to chill?
HIM: Naw, I’m just saying, cause. . .
ME: Bro, we had already talked about all this but shit you talking like you had somewhere else for us to go and shit
HIM: Naw, I’m not saying it like that. I was just asking.
ME: Put it like this no I don’t live here but as long as I got a key hell I come and go as I please.
Okay okay pause.
Low-key my sister was home, but I was just trying to see where dude mind was cause I was feeling him. Fuck it, I wanted him not even in the sexual sense I wanted him to myself, by myself. No sharing (for now) but I wanted more.
I had been engaged twice. I don’t care male or female. Gay or straight. I wanted to get married. I wanted to do the whole thing. The dresses, the suits, oh my God the flowers and least I forget the food; but most of all just knowing that there is someone in the world that loves you, wanna be with you, can’t live without you and who you can’t function without.
Like a team you know on some best-friend type shit. That was our first time really kinda being able to chill with each other and touch and shit. I couldn’t stop smelling him (kinda in a stocker way) but he liked how I smelled too he said I smell like a baby. He worked in a building that made bullets so he smelled like gunpowder or some kinda gas. I’m from a small town the has refineries on almost every corner so that must be a small town thing. Before we left each other that night, we promised one another that we would make time to go on a real first date. Keep in mind my birthday is just a week away which would be the weekend of our date. As we pulled off he flashed his lights, I stopped and he rolled down his window and asked me.
HIM: Hey mane watz ya sign.
ME: Ima cancer mane.
HIM: Oh shit me to mane.
ME: Alright bro so what we gon kick it.
HIM: If we wasn’t before we are now
ME: Alright thats bro.
So like ( FYI I popped my lips when I said that) the whole week I couldn’t wait to see him again, touch him again, smell him again and just spend that time. Oh yeah, Did I say it was my birthday weekend? Boo thang hit me up about parties, friends having parties its June, Summer Bitch everyone’s out of school, parks, car washes POPPING, not into malls so idk so it’s a Cancer Vs. Cancer weekend.